Nap Time

Afternoon Nap

My head bobs.  I’m so sleepy.

Like a baby, or an old woman

I need my afternoon nap.

As I read, my eyes bang shut

And I wake when my head bobs

Again.

I’m drooling.  How revolting.

Brain is swimming in sludge

And I can’t stay awake.

My grandkids think it’s funny

When they see me

Like this. That’s okay.

One day

It will be them.

They.

And their grandkids

will watch and giggle.

I’m glad I’m good

For something 🙂

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/the-interview/

Snow

So.  I’m tired of waiting for the dilatory daily prompt. Not checking again today.

Anyway, we got a beautiful prompt overnight. 

I took this with my iPhone, from inside our dining room.  It looks out on our back yard. We got about six inches, and the temperature right now is 33 degrees.  Not bad, really.

There are myriads of paeans written to the beauty of the snow.  There are songs and poems and photographic essays, and I can’t (won’t) try to improve on any of them.  There are also lots of things written about the horrors of the snow, the unrelenting cold, the dangers.  Both are true. And both ideas have set my mind to work this morning.

I work in mental health.  I’m a private practice, independent contractor therapist.  I work three days each week, and at my ripe old age, that’s plenty.  I spend those days listening to people’s sad stories.  Some of them are horror stories of abuse, neglect, post-traumatic stress symptoms, depression, bipolar disorder, marriages crashing and burning, financial disasters, medical disasters. Sometimes, I see someone who just has garden-variety depression that is fairly easy to help, and that’s kind of a relief.  It’s never easy.  Don’t misunderstand me. But I know how to handle the snow storm of depression.  I’m learning  how to work with most of the other things I mentioned. Sometimes it’s a blizzard beyond my ability, and I have to bring in the heavy plows and disposal trucks, the sanding trucks and the emergency vehicles. I always regret having to do that, because sometimes doing so puts my client into a system we both dislike.  Reporting child abuse, for example, is something I truly hate having to do.  I’m a mandated reporter, so I have no recourse. Doing so puts all kinds of social services into play, and sometimes it turns out well.  Other times, it’s just a bigger blizzard.  I have a client who had been falsely accused of molesting his own daughters.  He has since been completely exonerated, but during the process his girls were removed from his home and put into foster care for a full year. That’s an ongoing story, and there will be lifelong repercussions.  The girls were molested by a family member, just not their father.

Horrible blizzard with howling winds, white-outs, and lives endangered.

On the other hand, just this past week I had the delightful experience of a gentle, cleansing, beautiful snowfall of forgiveness and restoration in a marital case I’ve been working with.  Mercy is necessary in order for forgiveness to be effective.  Mercy, kindness, forgiveness, recognition of one’s own contribution to the problem. When one person stands in stern and unrelenting judgment on another that he claims he loves, there isn’t much hope of restoration.  If one person always has to be right, then the other person always has to be wrong.  No one can survive and thrive under those conditions.

Mercy is like snow that falls in huge, puffy flakes while the air is still. It covers the ugliness of winter grass, barren bushes and neglected flower beds that make me think of the wrong choices, wrong behaviors, hurtful words that are said.  When the fall of mercy is done, it leaves a blanket of spotless, glistening beauty over everything. It does bring calm. It brings a sense of warmth and comfort  as we stand inside a warm house, gazing out onto a changed landscape. It is clean, It is unmarred, until the first squirrel or winter bird leaves its tracks across the surface.

Gentle snowfall in still air, doing no damage, but restoring nutrients and moisture to the soil, like mercy soaking into a broken and hungry heart.

Oh, My Aching Back!

No Daily Prompt again.  I was hoping we were finally back on track, but oh well.

I’ve been posting later in the day than I like because I’ve been struggling with a spasmodic mid-back condition for over a week. The week before that, it was a lumbar problem.  Sigh. There are some things about aging that really aren’t any fun at all.

The condition I’m dealing with now started over 25 years ago.  It’s like having a full-body charlie horse, and it literally brought me to my knees.  Even my chiropractor  couldn’t seem to get it fixed, and my family doctor ended up putting me to bed with pain pills and muscle relaxers for the weekend.  Finally brought the pain under control, and I haven’t had a lot of difficulty with it since then–until this week.

If you’ve never dealt with back pain, you’ve no idea how debilitating it is.  Hard to describe something that no one can see.  Lots of people think back pain is just an excuse to get out of work. Believe me, the LAST thing I wanted to do over my Christmas break was spend so much time flat on my back in bed, dreading having to move at all.  I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, not even the doubters 🙂

So New Year’s Eve rolled around, and I knew I was in trouble. The spasms were unrelenting and horrible. We called our family physician, and the doctor on call agreed to send a prescription to any pharmacy we could find that was open at 9 p.m. New Year’s Eve. We finally found a CVS that was open until 10, called the doc back, and got the meds.

I hoped for oblivion, but didn’t get it. The doctor gave me a combo of muscle relaxer and anti-inflammatory, and it took several doses before I finally started feeling relief. This morning I was actually able to roll out of bed with minimal discomfort. I’m hoping that means I’m on the mend, and that I’ll be all better just in time to. . . . .

. . . .go back to work, where I sit all day.

Ugh.

And a happy new year to all of you, if that’s possible for you after reading my lengthy complaint.  A little whine with my cheese, please 🙂

Busy!

I’m really sorry I didn’t get to read too many of your posts today on the daily prompt.  Incredibly busy day. We selected counterop, looked at tile for backsplash and floor, looked at sinks and faucets.  Some people just love doing this.  I don’t.  After an hour or so, I’m ready to say, “Just send me one of everything!”  I’m not a shopper, never have been.

Then a friend came to help install upper and lower cabinets on the north-facing wall, and I’m delighted with the effect so far. The only cabinets left are the wall cabinets on the south-facing wall and the ones we’ll use for the little breakfast bar thingamabob. The counter can’t be measured and cut until all cabinets are installed.

I love the countertop.  It’s called “cashmere white,” a granite top with a light touch of blue and some other sparkles. I’m thinking to pick up the blue in the backsplash and the floor tile, maybe paint the walls a very, very light blue. Cabinets are birch.  I want a light, airy feeling.  Nothing set in cement yet.  It’s a small room, and I don’t want a lot of dark, strong color. We’re still deciding whether to go with stainless (which everyone tells us is a better selling point) or a whitestone look that Terry likes.

Anyway, there just wasn’t a lot of time for reading posts, and I feel bad about that.  You are all so very encouraging to me, “liking” and commenting faithfully.  I do want to return the favor whenever I can.  Today just wasn’t one of those days.

I just had to put a few dishes in the cupboard tonight! dishesincupboard

But–it looks like I’ll be able to produce a good Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.  Terry put plywood down across the cabinets so I have a couple of good working surfaces. Now if I can just get some more stuff put away and do something about all this dust. . ..

Halloween Rant

Well, maybe not so much a rant as just thinking about things.

When I was a kid. . . . .

I know, eye-roll statement, right?  Still, when I was a kid, nobody decorated their yards or houses for Halloween. That was reserved for Christmas.  I don’t know when Halloween became a  high-cost event here in the States, but I’m sure it happened when I wasn’t looking 🙂

I lived in a middle class neighborhood in north Minneapolis when I was in elementary school, up through the 4th grade. Halloween, for us, was just fun. Nobody was getting all wrapped around the axle yet, and nobody was afraid. We dressed up in old sheets or hobo-looking clothes, or made gypsy costumes or clown costumes out of whatever we had around the house. Nobody spent money on pre-made costumes.

We went around the neighborhood with our friends, ringing doorbells and being greeted by people we at least had seen on the sidewalk at some point.  Apartment buildings were great places for trick-or-treating, lots of  doors all in one building. We were welcomed by everyone, and we had a blast.  We were given homemade treats, and no one worried about pins or razors or poison. We got apples, popcorn balls, a wide assortment of candies, cookies, and even some cheap little toys.  Boxes of Cracker Jacks were always fun because you got the popcorn AND the toy inside.

No parents were with us, unless someone was taking their toddlers out for the fun. It was safe, and harmless, and no one even thought about satanic influences or sacrificing animals. There were probably some pranks that were harmful.  I’m not naive enough to believe that everyone in 1953 was innocent as a baby. But it was a different era, and our favorite TV programs were Father Knows Best and Walt Disney Presents.  Miley Cyrus was not even a distant nightmare, and children were not smarter than their parents. Andy Griffith was a role model, and Opie got paddled when he was disobedient.  It was a good time to grow up.

I’m appalled at what Halloween has become today. I want no part of it. We never, in 20 years, have had trick-or-treaters here because they’d have to walk  25 feet between houses.  Their parents take them to high-density neighborhoods so they can get more loot.  I don’t understand the average $80 that I heard yesterday is “normal” for Americans to spend on Halloween. I don’t understand the fascination with things of darkness, with what is truly wicked.  I know there are some for whom it is still just innocent fun, but that’s not the norm.

It’s sad.

Oh My Aching Back!

I had plans for today.  Was going to get a lot done. Instead, I ended up in bed, dosed up with liniment on my back and muscle relaxers in my tummy that put me to sleep.  The good news is, the tetchy place in my back is better.  I can move now without gasping.

Many years ago I developed this place just between my shoulder blade and my waist that will go into spasms and just about put me on the floor.  I won’t bore you with all the gory details.  Most of the time, these days, it’s no longer a problem. Apparently, though, I’ve been sitting wrong or something.  It’s been twitching at me all week, and when I woke up this morning I knew I was in trouble.  Of course, my chiropractor is away for the weekend. He’s the man upon whom I depend second only to my husband 🙂

Anyway, I’ve been in bed most of the day.  Learned years ago that a pillow placed under the touchy spot helps relax everything.  Terry brough my laptop in here so I could stay in touch with the world.  I slept for maybe three hours in the late morning and afternoon, something I rarely do. I’ve read, checked things online, and even got up to have some supper and watch a Hallmark movie.

So why am I writing about all this.  Beats me.  Just goes to show what a quiet day I’ve had, which is really a blessing as well. Exciting things going on here on a Saturday night 🙂

Sleep well, everyone, and enjoy this last week of daylight time here in the States. Next weekend, we go into the DARK!