“Friend”: “So, how are you today? Any better?”
Me: “I’m okay. How are you?” (Because I always try to deflect.)
Friend: “You know, sometimes my back goes out, too. Have you tried a chiropractor?”
Me (sighing inwardly): “Yes, but he no longer touches my lower back.”
Friend: “Well, he’s not helping much! Are you taking calcium?”
Me (losing patience): “Yes. What I have is a condition. My bones are crumbling, pinching nerves. We treat the pain, but this is not going away.”
Friend: “Hmm. Well, maybe you need to change your diet. . . .”
Me: “Okay, nice to see you. Gotta run.”
Just Writing! 
I can definitely identify. When you have an ailment, so many people have a suggestion. My Dad was big on apple cider vinegar. š
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It’s amazing stuff, if you can believe everything it is said to cure š
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Dear Linda,
It’s nice to have friends who know just what to do, isn’t it? Everyone’s remedy is the right one. Can’t tell you how many sore throat remedies I’ve had suggested this past week. š
Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So true, and they mean well. This particular one, though, doesn’t listen to anything I say. I don’t often talk about my back because it just is what it is, and no more needs to be said. But she is trying SO hard to make light of it and “fix” it!
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It’s a natural reaction to want to fix a friend’s problems. But, as you show, it can get irritating
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Yes. Especially when anything you say by way of explanation is simply ignored š
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Linda, I will admit I’ve been on both sides of that conversation. Good, realistic dialogue you’ve created here.
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I’ve learned to keep my advice to myself unless someone actually asks for it. Even then, I’m careful. Thanks so much š
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You’re welcome.
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At least you made a polite retreat. I’m guessing you didn’t actually run!
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Yes, amazing how many people think they have the answer. Covid particularly brought this out in people suddenly becoming online doctors and scientists!
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When I was still working, I’d often have new clients come in and say, “I’m (you name the disorder).” I would ask if they had been diagnosed as such by a certified provider. “No, but I looked it up on the internet. I have all the symptoms.”
Sigh.
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You dramatized that particular irritation very effectively, with fluent dialogue and realistic characters. Nice story, Linda.
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Thank :)s, Penny
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These days I can not find the words, but your offering this week rang true
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Thank you!
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This one made me chuckle. It seems when you’re ill, everyone else is a doctor and knows exactly how to treat your condition. I think this is why so many people say they’re fine when they’re not–who wants all that unsolicited medical advice?
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Zackly!
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Oh dear.
Learning when to take a step back is very important.
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Yes. I have no desire to hurt anyone, but there’s just so much I can handle of people who won’t HEAR my words!
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oh well, she can still run, can’t she? š
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š
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This is so realistic, great dialogue writing. I admit, I’ve been on the ‘suggesting’ side more than once, too. It’s just so hard to accept the pain of someone you care for. We’re being trained to consantly solve problems, not to take time and just listen with compassion and acceptance.
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Exactly. One of the many things I learned as a psychotherapist was to listen to understand, not just to respond.
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Ah, the well-meaning friend who doesn’t seem to quite “get it” š
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We are guilty, I think, of listening not to understand, but to rebut. It’s a bad habit.
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Oh this is so true to life. So many people just can’t listen – also they probably can’t accept that some things have no solution. Wonderfully shown here. I see from your comment to Rochelle that the ‘me’ in your story really is you. That’s sad to hear. Take care.
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Thanks,Margaret. Yes, the “me” is me š Aned I’m very thankful for effective pain treatment!
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Oh I can certainty relate to this one (I get migraines)
There are some people who just have to suggest “fixes” like you wouldn’t have tried anything and everything before now if you could! A condition is a condition !
Might be coming from a well-meaning position but it’s certainly frustrating to hear it from “friends” !
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Always well-meaning, but the truth is sometimes they’re just not listening to hear, but to rebut.
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Oh I can certainty relate to this one (I get migraines)
There are some people who just have to suggest “fixes” like you wouldn’t have tried anything and everything before now if you could! A condition is a condition !
Might be coming from a well-meaning position but it’s certainly frustrating to hear it from “friends” !
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Awww … her friend meant well. Sometimes, when someone tells us they’re sick, we go into mother mode and want to help. Too many old fashioned or trendy remedy suggestions can get irritating. A bad back is no joke, though, I had two disc bolstered up with metal and my spine doesn’t like it. š Nicely told … Isadora š
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You are so right–back issues are often extremely painful. Sorry you’re having trouble with yours!
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Doctors just can’t the wonderful work God creates. It’s okay. I do have many goods days too. I’m grateful for them all. š
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