“Mooooommmy!” shrieked Netta. Sobbing, breathless, Netta trembled.
“Netta, what on earth?” Mommy didn’t see any blood, but Netta was ghost-white.
“Netta, calm down and tell me. Take a deep breath, let it out. Now listen: You won’t be in trouble. Just tell me.” Mommy gathered Netta up close, waiting.
Through sobs, Netta said, “I went out to get a stick of wood like you said. I took it from the top of the window, and all the wood came crashing down, and–and—there was a HUGE black SNAKE that jumped out at me!”
************************
(This story started writing itself the minute I saw the prompt. The original word count was 176. After the pruning session, this is what was left.)
Just Writing! 
Hmm. Smart kid
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Why do you think she was smart? That wasn’t in my thoughts, so I’m really curious.
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I assumed she’d made up a story to justify herself
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Ah. I wondered about that after I posted the question. No. She was genuinely terrified. We have black snakes around here, but usually they stay away from people. And I’m told they’re harmless, and help keep the mouse population under control. I’d be terrified, too, if I came that close to one!
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I see you found a snake this week, Linda. I suspect she was safe as it was a rat snake right?
good tale too, I liked this one,.
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Yes, she was safe, but I, too, would have bee terrified! Snakes are bad enough; a black snake would send me into hysterics 🙂
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I can understand that. Although it is worth remembering that no snake is out to attack humans. If you don’t trap, handle, or step on them, they will just move away everytime.
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Even rattlers?
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Yup, even rattlers. They rattle their tale to tell you they are there. if you listen and go no closer they will never come closer to you and will only move away if you let them.
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Well, that’s somewhat comforting. We do have rattlers here in PA, but they live in densely wooded places and rarely show their ugly faces.
Hey, see what I did there 🙂
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That’s the thing with snakes. If you walk at a good pace they will hear the vibrations of your steps and all scurry away. Just be careful when climbing over logs as they could hide under the other side. It’s always best to step up, check and then step down again.
What did you do? I’m not noticing anything.
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“They live in densely wooded places
And rarely show their ugly faces”. A little unintended poetry 🙂
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Oh I see. Brain was looking for something entirely different.
I did think it was the start of a snaky tale though. Well done, Linda.
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Urgh! I’d be screaming too in her shoes, even if the snake was harmless.
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Me too. So terrifying.
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Oh the horror! It would be enough to discourage helping to collect firewood in the future!
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Yes. And for me, it would make me shy away from all woodpiles 🙂
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No kidding! Ugh.!
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Dear Linda,
I’d be screaming too. Applause for cutting it down to 100 words and maintaining the integrity of the story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you! I’ve developed a “trick” for when I have to cut lots of words. 1. What’s the main point? (In this case, the snake). 2. Who is most important character? Netta. 3. What am I trying to make my readers feel? Sympathy, maybe some fear. Once I’ve done that, it’s easier to cut the verbiage.
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Hey, that’s a great technique for chopping words; I’m gonna pinch it!
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Happy pinching. I hope you find it helpful 🙂
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We can tell what you’re afraid of. If SNAKE came to your mind the minute you saw the pic… 🙂
Thankfully we only have garter snakes here, but the thought of that precarious pile of wood toppling did cross my mind.
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Sort of like playing Jenga–the piece. you move can topple the whole structure. As for the snake, when I was still just a little girl, we’d go visit my Colorado grandparents. They always had a woodpile–Grandma cooked on a woodburing stove–and my dad always warned us not to go poking around in that pile. Because snakes. Dangerous ones. Shudder!
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That one stick of wood was distracting. Glad she took it out.
In these parts it’s snakes, scorpions, and huge scary spiders. Mind the wood piles.
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Exactly.
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I don’t even like worms, as for black snakes…!
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:). Can’t say I’m fond of the wormy guys, but they’re nothing compared to snakes!
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Our cat discovered a snake the other week, truly 5ft long. I know how the little girl feels.
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Did he bring it to you as a gift?
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No, but she thoughtfully pointed it out to me before heading for the house.
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Cats are thoughtful that way 🙂
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I can understand the horror of mum and the little girl. I think I read somewhere that fear of snakes is an inborn instinct, but could be wrong. Some species can be helpful in the garden though, maybe Netta can overcome her fear by learing a bit about them. (That’s how I overcame my irrational fear of spiders).
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Maybe, but that would likely entail looking at pictures. . . . . nope, not doing that!
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Yeah, wouldn’t work that way. It works only if you really wish to get over the fear.
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When I was training to treat PTSD, I used snakes as my phobia. Actually got to where I could like at pictures. Still gives me the shivers, though, and I don’t go looking for pics of snakes!
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Great. There’s nothing wrong with fear of snakes, I think it’s an instinct.
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Usually I find slugs or occasionally a mouse, but a big black snake would put anyone off from getting wood from the pile. I am sure she was exaggerating as children do.
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Maybe, maybe not. Black snakes can be 5-6 feet long around here, from what I understand. That would be enough to send me into hysterics!
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what a lucky girl. it could have been worse. 🙂
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Yes it could. Much. Shudder!
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Sounds far too much like something that would happen to me….especially with my inborn terror of anything snake-like. UGH!
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Me too, Bear. Gut deep.
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All is made better with her mother’s arms around her. I understand the terror. I hate snakes!!
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Lots of women do. I think we inherited it from Eve!
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She escaped a snake and a collapsing wood pile, it’s her lucky day! If a snake jumped out at me I’d still be running.
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Good point!
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It’s scary to see a snake. I be trembling too.
Nicely done, I could feel Natta’s fear/
Have a wonderful weekend … Isadora 😎
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Thanks, Isadora. You have a good one too, and a blessed. Thanksgiving.
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You have a bountiful Thanksgiving filled with loving family and friends. Blessings 🙏
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I always made extra sure to not reach in too deep into a woodpile, and make extra noise to warn snaky intruders to move away. Usually harmless ribbon snakes, but we had moccasins around too. Have a great Thanksgiving, Linda!
pax,
dora
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We do have moccasins around here, I think, but I’ve never met one. Hope I never do!
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A nicely worked story, Linda. I’m quite glad there are no really dangerous snakes in the UK.
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One of my sons and his wife live up near Oxford. He keeps telling me it’s badsnakefree 🙂
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Been there, done that.
When I was a small child of four or five a blue racer chased me. I’ve been terrified of snakes ever since.
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Oh, Lord! I’d have fainted right there on the spot!
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Poor Netta!
A terrible fright indeed
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