Bobby loved his new ride. The old man had finally come through.
He spent time getting ready for his conquest.
Kathy had her doubts. Bobby was kind of shallow. Stuck on himself. But she was ready.
“Bobby, there’s nothing but woods out here. Turn around.”
Grinning, he parked, threw his arm over her shoulders, and leaned in for a kiss.
“Don’t! Stop!
He laughed.
Her knee found its mark. The heel of her right hand slammed his chin up: her elbow wrecked his gut. Panting and groaning, he didn’t feel so amorous.
Kathy glared. “Now take me home, you creep!”
Note: My first draft was 187 words. It was like bleeding to cut 87 words out. One of these days I’m going to have to come back to this and develop it. The characters I drew in the first draft were so much fun:) But here it is,
words. It CAN be done!
Just Writing! 
Nothin wrong with a little premeditation if that’s what it takes! Nice write Gran.
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A girl needs to be prepared 🙂
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I’m not sure he’s in much a state to drive safely. Better she throws him out of the car and drives herself
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I wish I’d thought of that!
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She said, “Don’t.” She said, “Stop.”
He seemed to have comprehension issues.
She helped him understand what “Don’t” and “Stop” meant.
Good for her.
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I think he found it incomprehensible that any girl would turn him down 🙂
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Well, then he deserved a bit of “comprehension 101” 😉
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Indeed he did 🙂
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ha ha I read “Don’t stop!” instead of “Don’t!” “Stop!”… but I’m French of course. Why is that in the anglo-world women are so scared of making love? Is that a special gene or just crazy education? Sorry Linda. I do like what you write. (from threefoldtwenty dotcom)
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She wasn’t afraid of making love—but she wanted to choose, not have it forced on her. The guy was only thinking of himself. That’s not love, it’s rape. Is it not so for the Franco-world as well?
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Pruning can be painful. But what was left was quite vivid. Wonderful!
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Thanks so much. It was painful, but I do think I got my point across.
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Dear Linda,
I’m giving you a standing ovation for cutting 87 words! And the moral to this tale is never mess with a girl who has taken self defense classes. Well done all the way around. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle.
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A gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do!
And a guy (even a French guy!) needs to understand that.
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Agreed. “NO!” is pretty clear in any language.
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I think he’s reaped the rewards of his evil intentions. I bet he’ll be back to his tricks before too long though.
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Probably. Big ego. He’ll probably tell the guys in the locker that he scored.
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He’ll get away with that right up until they see the bruises!
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🙂
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Taking her to the woods showed that he had on thing on his mind. He soon found out, the hard and painful way that don’t means don’t and stop means stop. Great take on the prompt, Linda 🙂
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Thank you.
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It sounds like she knew this advance was coming and came prepared!
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Well, it was clear that she wasn’t wildly excited about going out with him. I’ll bet she won’t make THAT mistake twice 🙂
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This was great, Linda! And a lesson learned the hard way…
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Thanks, Dale. I think most of us women have had to deal with an overly inflated male ego at some point. I’ve always though self-defense training was a great idea.
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God’s great gift to womankind, but only in his own mind.
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Exactly!
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If only all the forcefully overly-amorous young lads got the same treatment. Good on her 🙂
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Thanks 🙂 The least he could do is ask, right? And then take NO for an answer!
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Clapping wildly here. For the story, and the editing. And the characters, even with your cuts, come through loud and clear. What a piece of *** he is.
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Well, yes, I’d say you picked up on his character 🙂
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Way to go, Kathy! Great story. Horrible creep deserves worse than that, though.
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Agreed.
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The old man thought he’d engage in- Conquest of two types- car & lady in the car!
Beware of such reckless amorous drivers!!!
Car In Cyclone – Anita
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Good advice, Anita 🙂
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clearly this relationship was not going to work – someone didn’t understand the rules.
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Right.
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His phony pride got him into big trouble
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🙂
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Perfect as is.
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Thanks 🙂
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I admire the strong girl that Kathy is! Good that she gave Bobby a lesson…
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Thanks, Kislaya 🙂
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Both were ready with their adventures of their own. Nicely told story from two different perspectives.
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That’s a good observation. And the major difference is that perspective was what he could get, selfish and completely clueless. I think Kathy gave him a clue 🙂
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In my opinion the cutting worked well. And good for her!
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Thanks, Liz.
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Nice one. He picked the wrong girl to mess with. Bruce Lee would have been proud of her. But inside a car I would have thought the hand and elbow would have been enough. Not sure how the knee would work in a small enclosed space.
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I thought about that too, but I WANTED her to do that and I’m the author, so. . . .:)
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That cut to 100 words can really hurt! You did a great job with it though!
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Thanks, Russell. It was painful 🙂
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Sounds like a girl who can take care of herself – fantastic! Well written and you’ve captured the two characters very neatly
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Thanks, Lynn 🙂
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My pleasure
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Poor man. What did he do to deserve such pain???!!! Well told, Linda and well cut. I feel your bleeding. But you got there. Hooray!
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Thanks, Kelvin. I like strong women 🙂
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I think he should be grateful he isn’t turfed out of his own car and made to walk home!
Well done on cutting so much and still giving us such a complete story.
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Thanks so much. A couple of others made the same suggestion. I actually never thought of it. Wish I had 🙂
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On the other hand, is what will be the most awkward car journey imaginable a worse punishment? 😁
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Could be. And I think most of Bobby’s attention will be between his legs. Not much conversation 🙂
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Haha very true!
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Just the word “conquest” reveals Bobby’s cockiness. Great writing! And bravo for cutting it down to 87 words and still getting the main point across. Yes, it can be done!
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Thanks, Margarisa. I love it when someone picks up on just a word that gives so many clues 🙂
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You’re welcome, Linda. With only 100 words to write these stories, each word is precious, 🙂
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Lovely story, Linda. Seeing someone get their richly-deserved comeuppance is always a pleasure! And although cutting 87 words hurt, it seems to me that the end result amply justifies it, because your story is taut, action-packed and full of pace.
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Thanks so much, Penny. I think FF has been a tremendous help to me in learning to say it in a few well-chosen words rather than ramblng all over the place.
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I think in the end it’s a good think not to cause more pain than to make him drive her home again… No means no…
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True, Bjorn. I doubt SHE was uncomfortable on the ride home, but I’ll bet HE was 🙂
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Liked the way she was prepared for the eventuality and then gave him back! However, she shouldn’t have come with him in the first place.
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True, and she was already regretting it before he picked her up. Should have followed her instincts 🙂
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Thats really brilliant, cutting 87 woads is some mean feat, well done it’s terrific
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Thanks so much 🙂
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I think she taught the cocky boy a lesson. Yay her!
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Yes indeed 🙂
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Good old feisty Kathy.
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poor chap, i guess she wasn’t into him. 🙂
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I would feel sorrier for him if he hadn’t been such a big ego. NO still means NO.
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Never force yourselves on anyone, especially someone who can kick your can all over the place.
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🙂
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Nice portrayal of a woman standing up for herself and what she wants. The sad news is that it isnt always enough. What shames and humiliates a big ego might not work on an equally “prepared ” and determined rapist.
As for cutting, Id say your patient survived surgery and is doing very well!
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Ha! Thanks–I’m glad my patient didn’t bleed tp death 🙂
And yes, I believe you are right–an experienced rapist wouldn’t have been so easily deterred. Let’s hope Bobby doesn’t go in that direction.
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She’s a strong cookie. Like her. Great take.
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Thanks. I liked her, too 🙂
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