
PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson
“Why do you keep putting up the tape? It’s a mess!” Jacob was impatient. This was an old conversation.
“Because, Papa, if I can’t see them, then they can’t see me.”
“Keila, that is silly. No one is looking for you!”
She grew taller, and more tape went up. More and more. And one day, Jacob didn’t come home. Ever.
Keila put up more tape, waiting, fearing.
When the heavy tread and the impatient banging on the lintel finally came, she pretended she couldn’t see them. But they saw her.
Oh dear… she was right!
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Many of us pretend not to see things, in the presumption that if we can’t see them, they can’t see us. Nice one
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Thrilling! I’d love to know more. Who are “they”? Well done.
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The best clue is in their names.
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Effective little chiller, well done.
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“she pretended she couldn’t see them.” – You see, that’s her problem right there – she “pretended” she couldn’t see them, which meant that she -did- see them. If you go by that “If I don’t see them” routine, well, the first rule is that you really don’t see them 😉 Nice story, if a bit chilling.
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True. A dangerous thing to pretend, but perhaps comforting if you can’t do a single thing to protect yourself.
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Very effective!
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Thanks, Sascha.
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The tension is very palpable through the words. Very well done, Linda.
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Thanks, Varad.
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The suspense is killing me now. Great build up!
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Thanks, Piyali 🙂
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This creates an atmosphere of threat that chills me. Very well done.
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Thank you.
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Ooooo nicely dark
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🙂
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That’s such an instinctive reaction isn’t it – if I can’t see them they can’t see me. Good one.
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Thanks, Sandra.
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Very dark. It’s not paranoia if it’s real…
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That’s right. Thanks for the comment 🙂
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Draping the whole mirror might have helped.
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Maybe she couldn’t get hold of enough tape:0
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sounds mysterious. who could they be?
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The clue is in the names–Jacob and Keila are Jewish names.
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Jings, Linda, this is traumatising!
Very very good.
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Thank you so much!
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Oh no! She knew! Sometimes we know what we know … even if we wish we didn’t know it … Poor gal!
Very spooky and very well done!
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Thanks so much 🙂
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🙂
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Dear Linda,
A bit sinister and frightening. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m glad there’s a word limit – I’m not sure I want to know what happened next!
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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Thanks, Keith. I think this may be the first time ever that I didn’t use up all 100 words!
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That’s scary especially because I doubt they’ll go away, however much she hides
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Yes, you’ve got it right. Thanks for the comment, Michael.
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I love the way you put it: This was an old conversation.
I read this as the daughter hearing voices because of schizophrenia or a dissociative disorder. I could see the father, at some point, either checking out of the relationship, or dying, and leaving this now grown child, to confront these voices on her own. Powerful.
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Wow. That’s not what I had in mind, but it certainly could be the truth about the situation. Inventive. I like it 🙂
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Very nice..by not specifying who they are, you’ve allowed it to be anything from science fiction to historical fictions
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Thanks, Larry. Historical was my aim, but hey–it’s up the reader 🙂
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She might not be imagining things after all, if Jacob’s absence is any proof. Good story, Linda.
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Thank you, Anshu. You are correct. In the years building up to WWII, many Jewish families escaped to safety as more and more laws were made restricting them, turning them out of their jobs, and so on. Some, however, believed it would all pass and were not concerned. Jacob was one of those, and his daughter was a victim because of his own failure to see what was coming.
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Seen from a historical perspective, it’s quite a Rochelle.ish tale
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That’s quite a compliment 🙂
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Spooky some kind of phobia.
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No, just a premonition of what was happening. Clue: their names are Jewish.
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Very chilling (and even more so after reading your inspiration behind it)
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Thanks, Amie. I’m afraid I didn’t give enough specific clues 🙂
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The tape didn’t hide her from them after all. A scary tale.
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Either she’s ready for the asylum or she’s been right all the time…
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She was right all the time, Bjorn. Her dad refused to see what was happening all around them, but she was more observant.
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Effective piece with bone-chilling tension! I guess she should have faced her fears from the beginning and by now she might have had a solution?
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Her fears were real. I was writing about the types of incidents that took place in Nazi Germany.
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Oh my I didnt pick that up! It makes it more tragic in its historic reality.
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I should have sprinkled in another couple of clues 🙂
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Having read your response to Fatima makes this even more chilling. Well done, Linda.
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Thanks, Russell. More clues would have been helpful, I think.
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