I’m Sorry

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

The fire was quickly contained in the small apartment building.  Most of the damage was from smoke. The adjacent buildings  were sprayed  to protect them from  sparks that could jump like  fleas from  dog to dog.

The firemen searched from one apartment to the next, checking for tenants. Finally, they found an old woman with a small child on her lap.  Her oxygen machine was unattached, her eyes open but empty. The child patted her cheeks, crying, “I’m sorry, Nana, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

The matchbox lay empty by the chair.

65 thoughts on “I’m Sorry

  1. Dear Linda,
    I was with D Avery, thinking Nana had sacrificed her own life to save her grandchild from the smoke – until I read the last line. And, tbh, I think if you’d omitted the last sentence you would have had a stronger story. Mind you, I loved your simile about the sparks being like fleas – really original and effective.
    With best wishes
    Penny

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Dear Linda
        Thank you for accepting my constructive criticism so graciously. I hope very much that you will reciprocate. Criticism from a writer such as yourself is particularly valuable. I will always take it very seriously because, even if I disagree with it, there has been something about my writing that has caused the response.
        BTW you’ve written a very touching story; I liked it a lot.
        With very best wishes
        Penny

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You wrote such a tragic and emotional story. I instantly felt sorry for the child as she would remember this event years to come.

    By the way, good technically correct method of containing an out of control building fire by watering down the adjacent building. Nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Granonine, I love your vivid description of fleas jumping dog to dog. This is a well written story and very emotional. The little girl will feel guilty for the rest of her life as she has already shown . I feel sorry for her, and how did she get her hands on the matches? Wonderful story!

    Liked by 2 people

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