Will you forgive me if post another one? I have a better idea, and I really wanted to write it. I may take down my first effort, which I really don’t like very much 🙂
Every day, in rusty black, Yvette hobbled to the square that held her family’s old home.
Every day, she lowered her body to sit on a bench, folding her gnarled hands over the head of her cane. Every day, she visualized the gardens and the birds that had lived there in such joy.
Every day, she hated war and loss.
Every day.
Just Writing! 
Yes, that’s much more powerful
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Thanks
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That was a very strong story… so much lost in war.
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A sad and real story. Powerful stuff.
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I tried to read your first one too, but you must have taken it down. So much emotion in this piece. The use of repetitive words really showed the strength of her feelings.
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The first one was just fluff. I couldn’t come up with an idea. I did take the other way down, couldn’t figure out how to remove it from the link page.
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Dear Linda,
There’s a poetic rhythm to this poignant piece. Very nicely done. No need to apologize for posting twice.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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PS There was no need to take the first one down, unless you just wanted to. In which case, do you want me to delete the link?
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Yes, please. The piece was weak and uninteresting. My brain wasn’t quite awake yet 🙂
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Thank you.
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Great description of feelings brought about by war and loss, Granonine. Good witing. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks!
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Strong story.
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Very descriptive writing, Linda. I could feel her sadness and anger.
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Thank you 🙂
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Beautifully written.
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Loved that you did this. I guess that many writers want to rub out stories or even books that they have written. Old Yvette painted fine images for me.
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Very poignant.
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I agree with the other comments this was a very powerful story. Well done.
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Loved the description – especially rusty black.
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I loved the description too! Awesome!
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Great descriptions!
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Wonderful. Heartbreaking.
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