Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt
I have been told I am my own worst critic. I tend to criticize everything about myself, all that I do. This criticism is not for the purpose of doing better next time; no, it is simply looking at things negatively, and making sure no one thinks I think too much of myself.
Where does such a habit come from? Well, I could go into all the deep psychological roots, I suppose, but that would be boring and counterproductive. And very personal, not really meant to be shared in a public forum.
Some wise soul has said that all behavior is caused, and causes are always multiple.
For me, the battle is to learn to stop it. Just stop it. Stop being so quick to tear down who I am, what I do, how I do it. Start learning to accept a compliment graciously, as I try to encourage others to do just that.
The other night, someone commented that I look as if I’d lost a little weight. I was taken aback, because four months of inactivity have surely not helped in the battle of the bulge. I immediately began explaining away her perception that I looked slimmer: It was the pattern on my sweater, it was the color block, it was nice of her to say so, but. . . .
She laughed. She said, “Thank you for noticing!” and we laughed together because I’ve been helping her learn to accept similar compliments. So I replied in kind, and I felt pretty good that at least SHE is learning not to deflect a compliment.
Criticism can be so harsh, and heard often enough, we sometimes believe we must deserve it. The trick is to sort out the helpful from the hurtful, and to leave the hurtful behind us. Easy to say, hard to do.