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I have been told I am my own worst critic.  I tend to criticize everything about myself, all that I do.  This criticism is not for the purpose of doing better next time; no, it is simply looking at things negatively, and making sure no one thinks I think too much of myself.

Where does such a habit come from?  Well, I could go into all the deep  psychological roots, I suppose, but that would be boring and counterproductive.  And very personal, not really meant to be shared in a public forum.

Some wise soul has said that all behavior is caused, and causes are always multiple.

For me, the battle is to learn to stop it.  Just stop it. Stop being so quick to tear down who I am, what I do, how I do it. Start learning to accept a compliment graciously, as I try to encourage others to do just that.

Image result for accepting a compliment with grace

The other night, someone commented that I look as if I’d lost a little weight. I was taken aback, because four months of inactivity have surely not helped in the battle of the bulge. I immediately began  explaining away her perception that I looked slimmer:  It was the pattern on my sweater, it was the color block, it was nice of her to say so, but. . . .

She laughed. She said, “Thank you for noticing!” and we laughed together because I’ve been helping her learn to accept similar compliments.  So I replied in kind, and I felt pretty good that at least SHE is learning not to deflect a compliment.

Criticism can be so harsh, and heard often enough, we sometimes believe we must deserve it. The trick is to sort out the helpful from the hurtful, and to leave the hurtful behind us. Easy to say, hard to do.

10 thoughts on “Self-criticism

  1. So why do people feel the need to criticize others. Those people live in glass house and they think their shit don’t stink but in all reality they have major faults that they are covering up.
    Before you say a bad word about someone else look in a mirror and tell yourself what you where going to say to others.
    See how you feel, knowing what you are saying is true about yourself.
    Instead of criticism, why not say something nice and see what kind of reaction you will get..
    Remember if you think it will not hurt, tell yourself first or even a family member see what happens.
    Karma is a bitch it will come back and bitenjoy you in the ass

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If we only had ourselves and our own opinions/other people’s input, to deal with. But, no, “…for we wrestle…against principalities and powers…” Adversaries who intends to drag us down however, to stop us from saying what needs to be said and tempt us to do things we shouldn’t do.

    A friend witnessed a teen girl, eight months pregnant, get a vicious beating from her drunken boyfriend one night in one of her neighbour’s front yards. Police came and it took three of them to subdue him. So what did that girl do? She later married him, signing herself up for years of abuse.

    Why ever? I had to shake my head over such an “insanity” — I’m sure you deal with it every day in your work, too. Yet I can imagine the voices in her head shouting, “You are so bad! You deserve to be treated this way. You’re good for nothing!” Voices I’ve heard myself through the years, the ones you’re talking about here, too. Why else would anyone accept such treatment in this day and age?

    We have a vicious adversary — no wonder we have problems! It helps me to know that every human being faces these accusing thoughts. It’s nothing personal, just the devil doing his job.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I read the piece and he (fr work) really sounded like Bob! I try my best to have a conversation with him, you know, ask him about family and stuff and his passion for gardening. I try to stick the topic on him. Yet, I am still waiting for “that” moment. Is that so mean?

        Liked by 1 person

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