Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.
It’s a good day to talk about being connected. It’s our 47th anniversary. We’re connected. It’s indisputable. We’ve reached and gone way beyond a point where we think of each other in terms of a singular instead of a plural.
(This picture is at least ten years old, if memory serves. Wish I had one more recent on my computer, but this will do.)
What’s so amazing is that even though we have indeed become, as the Bible calls it, “one flesh,” we still don’t think alike. I mean, we agree on all the most important things. It’s not WHAT we think so much as a matter of HOW we think. Sometimes that difference has created hurt and misunderstanding. Sometimes, and more often as the years pass, it has opened a new way to look at a situation.
We were talking the other day about the years when he was doing over-the-road trucking and I was teaching full-time, with four kids at home and way too much on my plate. I hated his being away from us for most of the week. He hated it too, but financially it seemed the only option we had in that time and place.
He would come home exhausted and needing sleep. I, of course, needed to talk with him about a variety of things that had occurred in his absence. I had no problem in dealing with whatever came up with our kids, but we were used to making decisions together, and I didn’t like flying solo if I didn’t have to. Sometimes, he would come home and arbitrarily change whatever decision I had made while he was gone.
I began to clearly understand the frustration of women whose husbands were truckers, or in the military, or for some other reason away from home. We had a few heated words and made a new agreement, and all was well. We just had to figure out how to deal with the differences in how we thought about situations. Usually we could find a compromise.
(Forgot about this one, taken this past Christmas 2015)
Through it all, the things we shared completely kept that one-flesh principle alive and well. There have been some very serious bumps in our road. Some couples may not have survived, and at one point in particular I’m pretty sure some couples would have given up. But that was never an option for us. We were one. You don’t lop off your nose when it stops working as well as when you were young. You find ways to compensate, and that’s what we’ve done.
I refuse to write about this anniversary in fairy-tale terms of hearts and flowers. We’ve had a wonderful marriage, but it has not been perfect because WE are not perfect. We’ve had to learn together, grow together. Our mutual faith has been the glue for all of it.
And I would do it all again, even the hard parts. After all, enduring the hard parts makes the rest of it all the sweeter.