She Grew a Spine!

Pat on the Back

Tell someone you’re proud of just how proud you are.


The first person who came to mind was a client, who shall remain nameless, who finally grew some spine and talked back to her evil husband.

I’m immensely proud of her for doing that.

Not that I advocate anyone should be disrespectful to a spouse in the general run of the day, but this man is doing his best to destroy her, inch by inch.  Takes her apart mentally, emotionally, verbally.  All. Day. Long.  He’s an incredible bully, big and strong and loud and intimidating.  She’s worn down, worn out, and ready to do as he wants her to do. He wants her to leave so he can claim she deserted him.

Don’t do it!  I’m telling her not to do it.  Her pastor and her lawyer are telling her not to do it. Stick it out, stay in there, don’t budge an inch.  He’s openly, flagrantly having an affair. He’s in the wrong.  She needs to stay put.

So  when she told me that she finally had enough, that she blew up at him, that she took him apart and left him in utter shock at her rebellion and then walked out while he was talking, I stood up and cheered!  Yes!  Happy dance time!

She didn’t walk out of the house or the marriage.  Just the situation of the moment.

She wins that round. I’m impressed.


11 thoughts on “She Grew a Spine!

  1. Of course analysts may say, “The poor fellow. Think what kind of an upbringing he’s had to make him this way. It’s not his fault at all.”

    And there is some truth to that; bullies learned their behavior — but there still is an awareness of right and wrong deep inside, and the willful response to that awareness and conviction is what we call “choice.”

    It must be really hard to counsel someone in that position. There’s the hope he’ll mend his ways. There’s the danger that once he finds out verbal intimidation doesn’t work anymore, he may resort to physical violence. Some bullies are all air; some have a hard core. And there’s the danger that if he’s promiscuous, he might give her AIDS.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You know how impressed I am with the kind of thinking that tries to excuse horrible behavior based on a person’s upbringing.

      Nada. Zilch. There are too many people who have had miserable childhoods who have CHOSEN not to inflict their pain on anyone else, and who have become inspirations to others to do good. Of course, we are all influenced by what we are taught. But just as a child reared in a great home can turn into a criminal, so a child reared in an evil environment can turn into a blessing. It’s a matter of choice.


  2. Impressive. Obviously she is stronger than she might think she is. Thanks for sharing! She does deserve a pat on the back! And a good lawyer who can advise HER how to go about getting a divorce on the grounds of his infidelity.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Along with her new spine – which I pray will grow stronger and stronger – she needs a good set of earbuds so she can listen to something other than him all. day. long. Perhaps if he is left speaking to her hand, he’ll give up and shush-up.

    Liked by 1 person

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