Yin to My Yang
How do you define the term “soulmate,” and do you believe in the existence of such a person — for you?
I don’t know, I kind of tend toward the vive le difference school of thinking. My mate of 46 years does NOT share all of my enthusiasms, nor do I share all of his. The important things, yes. Our faith, our world-view, our love for our children and grandchildren; our appreciation of God’s creation, including last night’s amazing supermoon eclipse. We sat in our porch rockers out on the grass and enjoyed the show, which was not completely obscured by clouds as it was for so many.
We both enjoy good music, and we like the same retro-TV shows. Before Terry’s injury and my back issues, we enjoyed walking together. Long walks. He especially enjoyed the woods. I’d sooner opt for an ocean shore. But we’ve walked probably hundreds of miles together.
Honestly, though, I think it’s the ways we differ that make us work so well together:
He’s a mechanical genius. I can use a screwdriver or pliers when I need to.
He’s a perfectionist. I just want to get the job done.
He enjoys always having a project, doesn’t want to sit still. I enjoy being quiet, curled up with a good book and a cup of tea for an indefinite period of time.
I love to read for relaxation and enjoyment. He reads in self-defense, after so many years of living with a bookworm. But he’d rather be fixing, making, building something.
He’s a morning Tigger. I’m a morning Eeyore. He just seems to be compelled to talk in the morning, and I just want to be quiet. Flip that in the evening.
He loves liver. I won’t have it in the house. He can have it when we (rarely) go to the diner. And that’s another thing. I love eating out. He doesn’t like it one bit. He usually wins on this one. I’ve learned to pick my battles.
This is a short list. As I think about it, I’m convinced that it’s the differences as much as the similarities that make our marriage work. Sometimes the differences drive me nuts. He tends to be oblivious to the differences, and that can drive me nuts, too. I don’t understand oblivious.
Over the years, we’ve laughed and cried together. We’ve been furiously angry and deliriously happy. The longer we live, the more we’ve blended the differences and made them workable. So if that’s what makes a soulmate, then okay. I guess that’s what we are.