Daily Post: Third-Rate Romance

I was looking through some of my first posts for this blog, and found this one.  I’d forgotten that I wrote it.  I was tempted to punch it up a bit, but frankly I’m just too lazy this morning. It’s an absolutely true story in every detail.  Poor Terry.  His big romantic plans just didn’t go the way he thought they would.  Didn’t matter, though.  Love triumphs 🙂

 

Prompt:

Tell us your funniest relationship disaster story.)

***************************

The relationship wasn’t–isn’t–a disaster, but the story is disastrously funny.

He told me we were going on an outing, a picnic.  We’d be driving up to Lake Mille Lacs.  I wasn’t sure how to dress, because he made it sound very casual,  but also pretty important.  So I asked.

“How should I dress?  Shorts?  Skirt and top?  Long pants?”

“Uhhh, well, I’m not sure. Wear something nice. I like that dress with the brown and gold stripes.”

“For a picnic?  Really?”

“Yeah, that should work out ok.”

So I got myself ready, and back in 1968 that meant stockings, if you were wearing a dress. It meant fixing your hair and wearing a little perfume, a little makeup.  Nice shoes.  I felt fluttery, because I kind of suspected what he had in mind.

The drive up to the lake was typically Minnesota-in-August.  Blue sky, puffy clouds. Since it wasn’t a weekend, the traffic wasn’t that heavy.  We chatted all the way up, me loving the power of his GTO as it ate up the miles.

Once we got to the lake, he began to search for the perfect spot to park.  It’s a process I’ve become familiar with over the years. Finally he pulled into a small parking area, grabbed a blanket and the picnic basket, and locked up the car. He thought we were close to a picnic area.

Yeah. “Thought” is the operative word.  Now, remember:  I’m dressed up.  Pantyhose, dress, perfume, hairspray.  Go look at a picture of some girl in 1968.  You’ll get the idea. Well, here you go; I found one for you  🙂

Now, she was probably going to a party.  I wasn’t quite that glammed up, but you get the idea.

Remember also that it’s August in central Minnesota.  Hot. Humid.

We were at a lake that was surrounded by lots of woods.  Mosquitoes.  Deer flies.

I was wearing perfume. I attract stinging insects even without perfume.  They love me.

We walked, looking for the fabled picnic ground. And we walked. We sweated. We slapped bugs.  We came across lovely, romantic things like discarded paper diapers–full.  Dead fish. Malodorous. Other unseemly dead things that I didn’t want to ask about. We never did find the picnic area. We finally did find a relatively clear patch of water, and we both took off our shoes; I found a bush and got rid of the hose, hiked up my skirt, and went wading into the deliciously cool water.

Clouds of mosquitoes lifted gently from the weeds along the water’s edge and elegantly settled back down all over me.  Flies landed where mosquitoes feared to go.

Well, Terry wisely bagged the idea of proposing to me along the fabled shores of Gitcheegoomee.  Instead, we ran (I was screaming) from the evil swamp monstersbackthroughtheweedsandunderbrushandsandanddiapersandfish  until we reached the safety of the car.

Poor guy.  I think he was more embarrassed than he’d ever been in his life.

But we ended up living happily ever after.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/third-rate-romance/

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11 thoughts on “Daily Post: Third-Rate Romance

  1. Tami S.

    This is about like my honeymoon…we stayed in a hotel in the cities and were flying out early the next day – my husband had a house in the cites so we left all our luggage for the trip there plus we had a friend meet us there to take us to the airport. We had to leave really early from the hotel to make sure we had enough time to get our bags and get to the airport for a 6 AM flight. The hotel “lost” our vehicle in their lot the next day. They tried to give us a really nice car but it wasn’t ours. They had to wake up the valet dude at 4 AM (no cell phones) to find out where he parked it…meanwhile we NEEDED to get going. Finally found our SUV and we cruised home – threw in our luggage and our friend and just made it to our plane. We had a layover in St. Louis…the plane we were to board was delayed due to maintenance – no problem until we realized that would make us miss our shuttle to get to the cruise ship so we talked to the airline and they told us they would make sure we had a taxi available to get us to the boat. We figured we shouldn’t eat much – because cruise ships are known for buffets so we didn’t eat much all day. We got to Florida and got the taxi (which was actually a luxury car – sweet). The driver was nice and asked us what port and we told him. He took us to the port – got out our bags and got back into the car to leave when the people checking our bags looked at the tags and told us we were at the WRONG port! Thankfully they told us just as the guy was pulling away and my husband was able to pound on his trunk so he stopped. We needed to go to a port completely across the way and we only had about 30 minutes to get there. In went the bags and we just got to the other side in time. We got on the board as the people were waving to those left on the pier. We waved and then figured we would go drop our stuff and the room and find the BUFFET! We dropped our stuff off and immediately had to go to the deck to go through the safety course. This seemed to take FOREVER – remember we were hungry …. where is the food? Well, finally we were excused and we started off looking for someplace to eat – only guess what? When the ship sails out of the harbor they don’t have food service – they are preparing the evening meal instead. Ugh! We have been traveling all day, we haven’t eaten much, we are on a cruise ship and there is nothing to eat. We also were scheduled for the later dining hour because the first dining is when kids usually eat and the people who set up our trip thought we would have more fun if we were with mostly adults…at this point we would have eaten kids meals if we could have sneaked in. So the only activity available to us on board at this time was an assembly to tell about the ports we were stopping at. Our travel agent had told us that we were going to Mexico but we didn’t get the particular port info so we headed to the auditorium to check it out. We sat down and the speaker was already part way through his presentation so the first thing we heard was “when you get to the Bahamas…” BAHAMAS?! We looked at each other and burst out laughing…guess we are going to the Bahamas. The rest of trip (other than the hurricane that we had to avoid – yikes) went well. But I figured if we can handle this crazy vacation together and laugh we should be ok…and 18 years later we still are.

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